


Forgo the old

by SWModdy



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Gen, Seeing Obi-Wan's memories
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-12
Updated: 2019-01-26
Packaged: 2019-06-26 10:44:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 17
Words: 13,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15661638
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SWModdy/pseuds/SWModdy
Summary: Dragged into Obi-Wan Kenobi's memories by a Sith artifact, Anakin and the troopers learn that not everything is as they always thought with the famed Negotiator.And below the wordsmith's silver tongue, old pain lingers.





	1. Dizzily fast

Its dizzily fast, the way their General just lets his gloved hand brush the artifact and its only a brush, of that Cody is certain before everything gets swept away into darkness as they fall.

He can hear several vode cry out, Skywalker’s curse but worse than all of that is the cry his General lets out because Cody can’t tell where its coming from but he can hear the pain in it, gut wrenching and awful.

And then its suddenly bright, they’re all crowded in an unfamiliar ship’s lounge in night dim mode and yet…

None of it feels real even as the weak light shines on their armor.

And to Cody’s horror, his General is no where to be seen.

Its only when Skywalker lets out an oath that he turns to look, blinking as the man stares down at a sleeping child tucked up in a chair with a gungan sleeping not far from him, sprawled all about.

A… blond… sleeping child.

There’s a shift, a door opening and they all turn to watch a redhead step into the lounge area and Cody feels his breath catch in his throat because no, the beard isn’t there, the clothes are simple Jedi tunics and the man is sporting a long braid but…

He could recognize his General twenty meters away.

This is his General, far before he was a general.

The man pauses, peering around the lounge before focusing on the child, a small frown crossing his face before he pads quietly across the floor, picking up a blanket that’s slid to the floor and tucking it back up around the sleeping child Skywalker.

From the look on Skywalker’s surprised face its clear this is new to him.

Child Skywalker makes a little mumble noise, turning a bit and tucking himself more into the chair and their General… _smiles!_

A wry, quiet thing before he gets to his feet.

He has dimples Cody absently notes, eyes wide inside his helmet as he realizes that this is their General’s memories. This is Obi-Wan’s memories and that is why he isn’t with them.

They watched as the young version filled a glass of water before turning back towards the lounge while leaning back to the bench, settled against it as he sips. Cody narrows his eyes, there’s something familiar about this but before he can set his finger on it young Obi-Wan raises his free hand with palm upturned towards the lounge, eyes closing as he takes a deep breath and exhales.

‘He’s meditating, trying to reach into the Force to see…’

For a second only the sounds of the troopers uneasy shifting is clear when Obi-Wan’s eyes flare open, wide with nostrils flared and the water glass drops from his hand.

Would most likely strike the floor if Obi-Wan doesn’t snatch it just as quickly out of midair though he spills the content on the floor.

Obi-Wan doesn’t seem to notice, doesn’t seem to care. He continues to stare towards the lounge with one hand on the counter he had been leaning against and the other holding the glass, eyes slightly wide and hands trembling, the one holding the glass turning pale with its grip and Cody wonders if it will shatter in the grip.

And then Obi-Wan finally exhales, setting the glass down carefully on the bench.

He takes another deep breath, his face growing troubled before he sighs, rubbing the back of his neck and returning the same way he went.

However he pauses by child Skywalker, peering down at him.

Cody can’t quite understand the expression, its a mix of overwhelming hurt as if the galaxy itself has come down on his shoulders and just resignation before he finally tucks his arms around himself and makes his way out.

‘What in the little gods…’ Before Cody can finish his thoughts the floor fall out under them again.

They land in what Cody knows is the Council chamber… filled with the entire council and child Skywalker, young Obi-Wan and a Jedi Cody does not recognize.


	2. Shaking hands

Blinking at the change of scenery, everyone looked around quickly to take in the details and get a bearing as the memory Jedi spoke around them.

Unable to decide where to look, Anakin settled on looking between Qui-Gon and the young Obi-Wan since he already remembered this. He hadn’t quite remembered how… young Obi-Wan looked though, he knew the other was twenty five here but he looked so young and there was something less tired in his eyes.

But now that he was looking…

He could see a tenseness in Obi-Wan’s shoulders, see the way the hands were gripping his wrists instead of just holding them and a nervous sort of wariness.

He almost misses when Master Qui-Gon announces he will take child Anakin on as a padawan if it wasn’t for the way all the clones give various noises of shock or surprise and Rex even lets out a vulgar curse.

But he also sees Obi-Wan’s shoulders slump a bit, the way resigned shock enters his eyes.

Young Obi-Wan had no idea this was going to happen and yet had seemed to expect it at the same time. ‘The vision, the one on the ship when he was having water.’ Anakin realized in numb surpise.

“Did this _really_ happen sir?” Cody’s angry voice is what makes Anakin tear his eyes off Obi-Wan to look at the commander, the man standing there with his helmet under his shoulder, wide amber eyes meeting him. “Did the General’s master just pretty much-” He seems to flounder for words before he finally seems to find one that fits. “ _Renounce_ him in front of the high _Generals_? _My_ General? _The_ Obi-Wan Kenobi? As his _padawan?_ ” He questioned, appalled as his eyes narrow.

Anakin had never thought on it, not really but now his mind was racing.

There was always so much going on and he was always busy or too young and scared of the future to really consider it but…

Qui-Gon Jinn had actually done that hadn’t he?

He had done an utterly sleazy thing by Obi-Wan, who was his padawan and pretty much just tried to abandon him to have Anakin as his padawan since the Council weren’t relenting to _his_ idea.

And when reminded he had a padawan, had Obi-Wan already, he had tried to get the other to go with him too by pronouncing him ready for trials. Pretty much throwing Obi-Wan under the shuttle buss for Anakin.

Had Obi-Wan been ready?

He looked back at Obi-Wan, looked at the serene face and for anyone who did not know Obi-Wan, he looked calm.

It was a mask.

Anakin knew this mask because he knew Obi-Wan, he could see the ever so slight eye twitch of the left eye, the way he was digging his left thumb into his right wrist and the way he was suppressing the need to twitch his right leg.

Obi-Wan was not calm.

He was panicking or in shock and trying to keep everyone from knowing.

Qui-Gon Jinn suddenly sank a lot in Anakin’s esteem as he had always kept the man in high regards.

Because if Obi-Wan had done to Anakin what Qui-Gon just did to the redhead, Anakin would have been screaming bloody murder because Force knew he wasn’t really ready to be a knight when he had been knighted even though he wanted it.

And if Anakin had done this to Ahsoka…

If Anakin had renounced Ahsoka in favor of training someone else in the council chamber, Obi-Wan would have been jumping down his throat.

He suddenly felt nasous and mouth dry, needing to wrap Obi-Wan up in a hug, needing the other to know that he never really meant his angry words when he used to tell Obi-Wan he wasn’t Qui-Gon and didn’t have his wisdom.

Obi-Wan had _more_ wisdom than Qui-Gon ever had.

“Karking hell.” He heard someone hiss as he nodded, his mouth too dry to verbally answer even as the memory continued on wards with the council giving Qui-Gon the stink eye. He had noticed that as a kid but had thought it was because of him back than, now however…

He didn’t think it had so much to do with him as it had to do with the way Obi-Wan’s hands were subtly shaking out of Qui-Gon and child Anakin’s view.

And then they were shaken out, bounced to the next memory, back on the nubian ship.


	3. Unresolved tension

“That will be all than Obi-Wan, I’ll be with the Queen to see if I can’t advice her before we reach Naboo again and I’ll check in on Anakin too.” Master Jinn said, heading for the door and stepping out of the engine room where Obi-Wan stood beside a hyper drive.

For a long moment the padawan just stood their, their young General staring at the door with a hand on the hyper drive.

General Skywalker looked pale under his tan, staring at the other Jedi with furrowed brow as no one said a word.

A hiccuping breath broke the silence finally, but not from any of them but Obi-Wan, Obi-Wan who started to shake, Obi-Wan whose knees started to quiver until he dropped onto them and pressed his hand to his mouth, hitching breaths coming muffled against a hand as the young General tried to desperately muffle it.

Cody dropped down in front of his General too, his hands traveling through him as he tried desperately to console the upset young man.

“Its a memory Cody, there is nothing we can do about it.” Skywalker said, his voice a tight, shaking thing as the commander looked up at the blond General who was staring at the other Jedi.

Biting back an angry retort, Cody went back to looking at Obi-Wan with his helmet held tightly held beneath his arm, watching as Obi-Wan’s hand finally moved from his mouth only to wrap tightly around himself in a semi hug, silent tears streaming down his face in a fit of emotions that Obi-Wan could not seem to contain.

Worse yet were the hitched words escaping him.

“Why am I never enough?”

Cody wanted to scream himself raw because of course Obi-Wan was enough, he was the best Jedi ever.

The world changes again, the image of Obi-Wan’s teary face and his hitched noises in their ears and now they’re in a power generator and follow two fighting Jedi as they follow Maul and as they enter the narrow hallway, Cody feels his heart start to throb hard.

Because it feels like a trap, the way the ray shields snap shut, separating Jinn and Obi-Wan from each other.

The anticipation is thick and dark in the air and then it comes.

Jinn gets knock to the chin with the lightstaff and the saber slides in with Jinn barely letting out a gasp as his face contorts with shock and pain and Skywalker’s hiss gets lost in the outright _scream_ their General lets out, a scream of pain and shock and utter devastation as he stares at Jinn’s fallen form with grief.

And then they get another shock as young Kenobi focuses on Maul, the General’s eyes icy through the rays as he’s reminded that there’s still a battle to be fought, lips curling into a little sneer as Maul prowls in front of it, unafraid and arrogant in anticipation of the next fight.

After all, what does he have to fear from a little Jedi padawan?

That’s what his face say, that little smirk on red and black lips.

The ray shields are dropping one by one, Obi-Wan bounces in place and as the last one falls they are back at it, Obi-Wan attacking aggressively as he outright chases after the zabrak.

They’ve seen lightsaber battles before but not like this, not two aggressive, young fighters going at it with lives to loose as they move wickedly fast, the sabers zooming through the air with their unique sound.

And their General _loses,_ falls down the open pit and barely manages to cling on to an out sticking metal thing down the pit about a meter down, the fear of the troopers who cry out in their fear while Skywalker only grits his teeth and grips his upper arms tightly as he has his arms crossed over his chest.

In the end its arrogance that kills Maul as young Obi-Wan pulls himself up and slices him apart as the zabrak does not think he can win.

Yet its not the time for victory as Maul falls for Obi-Wan runs to Jinn’s side, carefully picking up his body as the man breathes in pain, the saber abandoned beside them as Obi-Wan wishes to help his master.

Cody expects…

He expects heartfelt words of goodbye, he expects tears…

He does not expect to hear. “Train the boy, he is the chosen one.” With Jinn’s last breath as he gently brushes Obi-Wan’s cheek with his fingers before he’s gone and from Skywalker’s shocked breath, he does not expect to hear it either.

All that is left is young Obi-Wan’s tears as he clings to the body and rocks it, the action as desperate as the tears on his face.

This memory of pain and suffering and unresolved tension is all Obi-Wan has.


	4. Callously dismissed

Upset would be an understatement on the scope of Anakin’s feeling at that moment as the images was forever seared into the back of his eyes.

The image of Obi-Wan’s tear covered face, holding Qui-Gon’s body.

The way Obi-Wan’s arms wrapped around himself and oh did Anakin knew what it was like to hug himself in a desperate attempt at comfort.

The pain of Obi-Wan’s _scream_.

It was almost too much.

This, this had the power to down Anakin not unlike the death of his mother had but here there was no one to fight, no one to unleash anger on and what good would anger do in this situation anyhow?

The man at blame was dead.

Qui-Gon Jinn was dead and Anakin wasn’t sure he could have unleashed his rage on the man who rescued him from slavery.

But looking through Obi-Wan’s eyes…

He also saw the others downsides, the sides he as an awestruck nine year old had not seen.

The way he had so callously dismissed Obi-Wan.

It was a downright horrifying realization to realize that Obi-Wan’s kindness might not have been taught to him by Qui-Gon at all. That Anakin’s honest to Force almost hero-worship of the man may be utterly wrong.

He vaguely registered the darkness of the next memory.

But he recognizes the temple still, the sound of skycars through curtains of the window. It must be their quarters or so he thinks.

But where is Obi-Wan?

This is _his_ memory.

There is a shift and a door opens to the hallway, emitting light as the frame of Mace Windu is framed in the doorway, looking around.

And he finds what he’s looking for, his darkened face and shadow turning from blank to drooping sadness.

Anakin sees what Mace does too, Obi-Wan tucked up in a fetal position against the wall near the kitchenette, a broken cup in front of his feet as he sits on the floor with his face buried in his knees and arms around his legs.

“Light, 10 percents.” Mace said softly but Obi-Wan didn’t react at all. Did not move, not even as Mace got closer to the man with the deep darkness of the apartment.

Anakin had actually never seen it this dark before with Obi-Wan still being awake.

He moves past Obi-Wan first to Anakin’s shock but he calms when he sees the man take the dustpan and broom, carefully sweeping the shards into it.

That explains why Anakin didn’t remember the broken cup. It was gone before he woke because he knew he was sleeping in the padawan room that he knew now had belonged to Obi-Wan.

That done, Mace knelt down beside Obi-Wan, watching him for a long moment and there was a little sniff that alerted everyone that Obi-Wan was not sleeping and Cody let out an honest distressed noise, like a mother cat almost Anakin would say.

And Anakin expects the councilor to scold the redhead, tightens his body in preparation for it even.

So he’s totally taken aback when Mace only reaches out and rests his hand on Obi-Wan’s head. “Its going to be alright Obi-Wan. I promise you its going to be alright.” The man murmured quietly in his deep voice, a soothing tone Anakin had never heard.

There was a little hitch and then Obi-Wan slowly lifted his face to expose the red rimmed eyes and tear soaked cheeks. “He’s gone.” The fresh knight croaked.

The korun settled beside Obi-Wan instead, wrapping his arm around the redhead while pulling him into his side, providing an unexpected comfort they weren’t able to. “I know,” Mace said heavily and Anakin had a moment to wonder if Qui-Gon and the councilors had been _friends_ before he spoke again. “And he will be missed greatly for all the trouble he caused us.” He laughed sadly while tightening his grip on Obi-Wan as the knight pushed into his chest.

“I can’t be a master, what was I thinking?” Obi-Wan choked out and Anakin tensed up, eyes widening up. “I’m barely able to look after myself some days, never mind _teaching_ and _caring_ for a nine year old former slave boy. I… what do I even… how?” He looked desperately up at Windu.

Anakin was reeling.

Had Obi-Wan really been _that_ lost?

He hadn’t seemed it, had always looked so calm around Anakin. And the words from earlier ‘why aren’t I enough?’ was still echoing in Anakin’s head like a constant torment that Anakin didn’t know he could feel because he had no idea how deeply Obi-Wan had been tormented by _Qui-Gon_ of all people.

There was none of that calm or serenity here, none of that emotionless state Obi-Wan sometimes projected.

“I know you aren’t ready,” Mace karking agreed with Obi-Wan! But before Anakin could puff up the other added more. “But you aren’t alone either, you can come to me, Young Skywalker’s case is unique yes but we’re gonna help you, me and Depa as long as you ask for it.” He assured before cupping Obi-Wan’s head and pulling him in close, pressing his lips to the others temple in affection and reassurance.

Obi-Wan let out what sounded both like a hysterical yet utterly relieved laugh before he buried himself in Mace chest, Cody still attempting to touch the young General to be even as Mace offered the comfort the other couldn’t.

The young Jedi’s muffled sounds were all that escaped as Mace held him.


	5. Violently expelled

They were violently returned to the real world, violently expelled from Obi-Wan’s mind as they all felt like they had been thrown out by the biggest karking bouncer in the universe and it took Cody several moments of just breathing before he managed to shift enough to look around.

His eyes landed on his General, the man standing there by the artifact with a hand on the alter, breathing harshly with the other hand pressed to his nose and his skin the color of their armors when they were shinies, his eyes closed and his body trembling ever so faintly.

“…General?” He called out as calmly as he could, still in shock over the things they had seen, the way the General’s _master_ , his supposed _teacher_ had treated the other.

At his title however Obi-Wan’s head snapped up and turned wild eyes on the troopers and General Skywalker as his shoulders trembled even harder before he straightened, dropping his hand to expose his bleeding nose. “Box this up Cody, avoid touching it lest we want another incident, I honestly should have know better.” He tried to get out in a nonchalant tone despite his racing breath and pale face as he started walking with unsteady steps towards the entrance hall to they had used to get into the ruins.

Everyone was trying to collect themselves but Cody took notice of Skywalker almost bouncing to his feet and moving towards the other Jedi as quickly as he could get his own shaken legs to work. “Obi-Wa-” He touched the others arm.

The General _jerked_ away from the touch, turning wild, wide eyes on General Skywalker as his chest continued to rise and fall with little gasping breaths before he shook his head and continued walking, his pace almost a run now as he sought light and air.

The two stared at each other before Kenobi quickly shook his head. “Not now, not here. _Please_ Anakin.” He got out through gritted teeth before walking out to get into the sunlight.

The troopers exchanged looks but did as told, getting the artifact, shaped like a scaled bug creature in flight with long antennas in a black metal into a box by using a brick and a plastoid box to push it into the box without touching it at all as no one wanted to be dragged into another memory.

And through it all, they all remembered that wild eyed look of pain and despair stuck on the General’s face, Skywalker unable to turn from the hall they had entered through with a grimace on his face though he did not follow since at least one Jedi needed to be around for the artifact.

Finally they could go out, Skywalker scrambling out the quickest with Cody hot on his tail as he let Longshot take care of the box.

They found the General standing near his tent, staring emptily into the overgrown jungle area of the old Sith moon with his arms crossed over his chest and his posture rigid.

Cold and closed off from the rest of the world.

He gave a little twitch to show he had heard them but didn’t take his eyes off the tree line or turn his head at all to acknowledge them properly like he generally would have and for a moment Cody wanted to tear his hair out because he didn’t know _how_ to help.

But then Skywalker stepped in and wrapped his arms around the other Jedi, pulling him back and into his chest.

It shouldn’t have worked out, the General was broader than Skywalker but somehow it did, leaving the redhead wrapped up and almost hidden away with the other Jedi’s arms around him until he slowly turned and pressed his forehead into Skywalker’s collarbone, taking sharp breath through his nose.

The arms migrated from crossed over the chest to wrapping around his stomach.

“You don’t have to say anything yet. Not here, not now,” Skywalker said quietly, tightening his grasp on the other man while setting his chin on the others head. “You’re right in that but its going to be some day and its going to be soon and for what its worth Obi-Wan? I’m sorry, I’m so sorry for all the pressure everyone put on you,” He said the latter in a quiet voice. “Just sorry.”

Outside of nodding into the younger mans chest, Obi-Wan didn’t make any other acknowledgment.

After a moment of hesitation, Cody stepped forward and pressed his hand to the General’s lower back in support, feeling tense muscles beneath cloth. “We’re all here for you General but right now I’m going to make a cup of tea for you.” He said with calm he wasn’t really feeling but projected regardless as he needed to be there for his General.

His General who had more skeletons in his closet than Cody had really imagined…

‘Are there more?’ He questioned mentally and snapped his eyes towards Grey Hat, their slicer.

The slicer stared back, eyes narrowed before giving a slow nod.

They didn’t know now but they’d figure it out.


	6. And on the carousel goes

Perhaps they should expect it.

After all, the violent way they had been thrown out of Obi-Wan’s mind did signal that it wasn’t an end by the artifact itself as it was highly doubtful that it would be that violent if it was a tool to invade someones mind.

And obviously the hug from Skywalker seems to have aided Obi-Wan somewhat

And yet they are all taken off guard as they are swept in once more into Obi-Wan’s mind no less than an hour later as Obi-Wan grows paler and paler and all the medically trained clones start eyeing him.

They are still shocked when the General cries out in pain and covers his head with his hands before the swooping sensation of dragged once more register to everyone. And this time its not just the team that had been in the ruins but all of them.

Cody is quick to grab Rex before he can say or do anything, giving his vode a long look as the captain looks around in shock as they are following Mace Windu and Obi-Wan Kenobi in a hanger.

“It appears someone doesn’t want us to know about this Kamino system.” Cody’s General said and with a startled realization he understood that this was BEFORE the war, just before Cody’s General came to Kamino.

“Which means there’s something happening on that system that we should know about,’.” Windu mused in return as he walked sedately and relaxed beside Obi-Wan, a certain air of understanding between the two that Cody hadn’t noticed before.

Or maybe it was because it was the first time they had seen Obi-Wan and Windu ‘alone’, speaking like friends?

“Master, do you think a Jedi could have erased that file?” Obi-Wan questioned, his face a suspicious furrow even as Windu seemed to contemplate it as they walked onto the hanger towards a prepared ship.

“I hope not.” Windu sighed, glancing towards the other Jedi. “This disturbance in the Force is making it hard to get a sense of things.” He said as the hanger extend slowly. The troopers and Skywalker passed through the walls ans floated in air and several troopers cursed but didn’t try to talk as they strained to pay attention to the two Jedi though Cody noticed Boil push Waxer onto the hanger as the other vod had gone white as a sheet.

Right, fear of heights.

“I am concerned for my padawan,” Cody’s attention snapped back to the conversation at hand, along with everyone else and he could see Skywalker growing wary. “He’s not ready to be on his own.” Obi-Wan said and was clearly meaning it too as the Coruscant wind ruffled his hair that the rest of them could not feel outside of Windu.

Said man gave a tiny, almost unnoticed hum as they walked a few more steps before stopping, the Korun turning fully to the other to advice him or reassure him. “If the prophecy is true then he is the one who will bring balance to the Force.” He said with a calmness and a small eyebrow raise.

Obviously this was a conversation on one should be privy to, especially not Skywalker who stared at Windu with something akin to horror.

“But he still has much to learn,” Obi-Wan said and Cody took note that Skywalker’s shoulders actually slumped with relief before tensing at the next words. “His skills has made him… well arrogant.” Oh that tone was something Cody knew, it was Obi-Wan’s uncertainty when faced with an unknown enemy that could potentially devastate his troopers while the Jedi tried to lay plans to foil said enemy from doing exactly that. “I realize now what you and master Yoda knew from the beginning, the boy was too old to start his training and…” He hesitated, clearly uncomfortable.

“Is there something more?” Windu asked, something along the lines of concern in his voice.

Obi-Wan sighed. “Master, he shouldn’t have been given this assignment, I’m afraid Anakin won’t be able to protect the Senator.” He finally said.

Skywalker was puffing up, his face red once more and several of his men were glancing warily between him and Obi-Wan.

Skywalker’s men loved him, just like how Cody and the others loved Obi-Wan, this was not a conversation they should have heard at all and he worried what repercussion this would cause with all they had learned earlier.

“Why?” The Korun asked, clearly confused.

“He has a… an emotional connection to her,” Obi-Wan reluctantly said and Cody could spot him clenching his thumb into his wrist where they were folded in front of him in a subconscious motion to protect himself since the start of the conversation inside the hanger compared to Windu’s relaxed stance and gait. “Its been there since he was a boy,” A brief smile on Obi-Wan’s lips, clearly loving, clearly fond and Skywalker stared at it with a sense of loss. “Now he’s confused… distracted.” Obi-Wan sighed, the smile fading away.

The two rounded the ship wing before Windu spoke again, smiling slightly as he focused on the other. “Obi-Wan, you must have faith he will take the right path.”

And why did Skywalker look so surprised?

Why was he staring at Windu as if he had two heads as the redhead bowed to the Korun?

Did he really think no one among the High Generals had faith in him?

The answer however had Obi-Wan smiling a bit while inclining his head in agreement. “Yes master.” He said before climbing into the ship and settling in, Windu following around before reaching in and resting a hand on Obi-Wan’s shoulder.

The younger General looked up, peering at Mace with a questioning look on his face.

“Have faith Obi-Wan. You did right by him, you helped him. And if he had left that time when he was fourteen and contemplating if a Jedi life was for him, you would have left with him. Have faith in that you did your job as his teacher,” Windu said strongly, squeezing his shoulder before stepping back, giving him a wry little smile. “And have faith that Skywalker won’t think with his _dick._ ” The man winked.

A little snigger escaped Obi-Wan as he nodded while a lot of clones suddenly had to cough while glancing at Skywalker who had turned bright red, because everyone knew that Skywalker had thought with his _dick_.

Seeing as he was married with the grand Senator herself.

The canopy closed but they were already whisked away before Obi-Wan took to the sky.

Away, away to another memory…

Cody was still going to get Grey Hat to dig up his General’s files.


	7. Merry-Go round

The world was swirling, a constant source of colors and sound, bombs going of in the far distance and the close, the screams, laughter, cries, Obi-Wan’s name, Anakin’s, the sound of pleading in Obi-Wan’s voice and Anakin could hear Obi-Wan’s voice pleading _him_ , pleading Anakin to stay as an image of Obi-Wan cradling a young Anakin to his body flashed by them and Anakin couldn’t remember this memory at all!?

When had that happened? What mission? _Where?_

“W-What’s going on!?” Boil called out, Waxer pulled tight to his side.

“He’s disrupted the flow of the artifact, Obi-Wan disrupted the artifact,” Anakin said, voice thick. “That’s why we’re here, why there’s no rhyme or reason to the order we see the memories, before we went forward, this is obviously going both back and forward at the same time because he threw us out of his head instead of letting it go to the natural conclusion.” He shook his head.

“Its no longer lineal.” Rex said, staring at an image of a laughing young Obi-Wan twirling around a blond he identified as a young Duchess Kryze.

“Right.” Anakin agreed as the world finally stopped being a swirl of color and became drab and brown.

Qui-Gon stood at the top of a ship transport, staring down at an all too young Obi-Wan at the bottom of it.

Obi-Wan’s face was a picture of stubborn determination while the Jedi master was the picture of shaken shock.

And then he turned grim. “You either come with me now Obi-Wan or you stay on this planet.” He said sternly.

A bad feeling welled up in Anakin’s chest as he watched his all too young looking master take a step back followed by another. “We can’t just leave them Master! They’re just kids, they aren’t even my age most of these, we have to stop the war!” He called back.

“This mission was a rescue for Tahl, not a negotiation. Its not Order _or_ Senate sanctioned and if you stay, you stay not as a member of the Jedi Order.” Qui-Gon’s words were stern and Obi-Wan’s face turned into shock.

Anakin felt like he needed to vomit, what was THIS!?

“…Then I guess I’m not your padawan anymore am I.” Obi-Wan whispered, taking two steps more back.

Qui-Gon’s face turned blank before he gave a sharp nod and stepped back, the ramp being lifted as Obi-Wan stared at it before the teen turned and ran towards the forest edge, the sound of a bomb going off somewhere far away but they never got to see what else happened as once more they were thrown around, this time forward.

Oh no, it was Anakin.

“You’re not a little boy anymore, but as long as you are my student you will heed my wisdom.” Obi-Wan said seriously, his face stern and Anakin remembered this, he had taken it as a scolding and responded in kind.

“You’re right, I’m not a little boy anymore.” The younger and clearly bristling Anakin Skywalker turned to his master. “And as far as your wisdom go, you are no Qui-Gon Jinn!” He snapped at him before looking away and therefor completely missing Obi-Wan’s eyes go wide and horrified and his mouth drop open.

And then his serene mask dropped like a durasteel curtain before the memory moved away once more.

“…General?” Fives said quietly, visibly disturbed.

“…I was young and chaffing at bonds. I didn’t…” Anakin rubbed at his face. “Obi-Wan has always been there, I just haven’t always appreciated it as I should have.” He whispered, the memories still moving without order.

And on wards the merry-go went with them as its passengers, everyone contemplating what they learned.


	8. Needs a hug

Its clear that the troopers aren’t certain what to think if the way they trade glances are anything to go by but no one can really grasp onto it as they’re swept into another memory, once more going into the past because Obi-Wan is once more beardless.

And he’s drunk.

Oh he’s so kriffing drunk he’s stumbling down the hall in the temple and its dark and several Jedi walk past him though once past they send the stumbling young man sympathetic or pitying looks at his back.

For a moment it looks like Obi-Wan will fall on his face when suddenly a young Vos is there, catching him by the back of his tunic and holding him up. “Woah there Obi-Wan!” He grinned cheerfully, supporting him with an arm over his shoulder. “Seems you had one too many drinks.” He said with some cheer though the its pinned with a thick layer of concern.

Squinting up blearily, Obi-Wan stared at his friend before grunting and nodding. “Anakin’s… sleeping over. Just needed to-” He hiccuped and Vos face went from the pretend layer of cheer to something sadder.

“Just something to release it all huh?” The kiffar murmured softly.

Cody frowned, watching how they behaved, uncertain as to what the meaning behind it all was.

“Have you even grieved properly for Jinn?” Vos asked quietly, waking steadily with Obi-Wan’s arm over his shoulder and his arm around the redhead’s waist.

“Gotta be an example,” Obi-Wan burped a bit and grunted, stumbling with Vos. “Anakin… he’s _my_ padawan. I gotta behave properly, be-be the perfect Jedi. I can’t… the council is watching an-and I don’t wanna fail him, he’s just a boy…”

Shaking his head, Vos stopped in front of a door and opened it, cued in as he was to the lock. “Him seeing you cry wouldn’t make you less of an example Obi-Wan.” He said sternly, pulling him in and towards the kitchen instead of the bedroom.

He deposited Obi-Wan on chair by the table and reached for the fridge, slapping together a sandwich.

“He’s so emotional,” Obi-Wan groaned a bit, rubbing his face. “I’m suppose to… he gets upset so fast, sends things flying with the Force and sometimes his fear or joy pounds against my shields so hard it almost breaks in.” Obi-Wan rasped out, glaring at the plate of sandwich placed in front of him.

“He was raised outside the temple, not every child is taught meditation from their young,” Vos argued. “He’s a good kid if overemotional and I know you mean so too.” He pushed the plate closer to Obi-Wan. “Eat Obi-Wan, it isn’t good to sleep on a rising intoxication, that’s how you get the worst hangovers.”

Sighing, Obi-Wan reluctantly took the food and bit in, chewing slowly and swallowing as Vos fetched a glass of water. “…He is a good kid, I’m just not a good master.” He whispered.

Cody could swallow his damn tongue at that as the memory slipped away and this time they were in a colorful room in the temple from what he could tell, children all around and flimsi pinned onto the wall of drawings.

A child Obi-Wan and a mon calamari were sitting close, giggling together as they drew something but Cody could spot another child approaching, something malicious in the eyes of the white haired boy and he grunted with unhappiness when the white haired boy shoved little Obi-Wan over, the redhead letting out a gasp of surprise and looking up.

“Oafy-Wan, I hear you failed another evaluation. They’re going to throw you out for sure now.” The white haired boy crowed.

Glaring back, Obi-Wan pushed himself back up and stood. “Lay off Chun, I failed a medical evaluation, not a physical eval.” He snapped, fists clenched.

The two kids snipe at each other and to Cody’s shock the two get involved in a fistfight and that doesn’t make sense to him as they are ripped out of this memory too.

Jedi weren’t suppose to… but they were kids and…

But it was Obi-Wan!

‘My general needs a damn hug and a fucking nap…’


	9. Chains of life

Its dark.

Confused Anakin looks around before making a surprised noise as a butterfly, bright and beautiful, flutters by.

Following it, he hears the others follow behind with confused mutters as this was something totally else than the memories they so far had seen. But considering Obi-Wan had thrown them out and not let the artifact do its job which was to review memories, perhaps that wasn’t so strange that the flow had been changed out.

“General, where are we?” Rex asked behind him.

Shrugging, Anakin couldn’t help but smile as the lone butterfly became a flock of bright and beautiful light critters. “I’m not sure, it doesn’t seem like a memory I have to admit. Maybe some part of Obi-Wan’s subcon-”

“Anakin?” A quiet voice called.

A quiet voice that had Anakin turning on his heel, staring towards a suddenly lighted up up area with a shape.

“Obi-Wan,” He breathed out. He ran, forgetting all about the troopers as he raced forward towards his master only to find him sitting on the floor cross legged as Anakin reached him, dropping on his knees to throw his arms around Obi-Wan. “Its you!”

An amused hum settled in his ears. “Of course its me, this is my mind after all though I’m surprised the artifact has guided you all this far in.” Obi-Wan said.

Leaning back, Anakin frowned in confusion as he stared at his very, _very_ tired looking master, puzzled that the other hadn’t come to him or hugged him in return. “Obi-Wan, what is going on?” He asked intently.

Opening his mouth, Obi-Wan is about to answer when Cody curses and drops beside them too, bringing Anakin’s attention to the others wrists.

In Cody’s hand, the manacles around Obi-Wan’s wrists are obvious and a quick check shows Anakin manacles around the ankles too and a karking _collar_ around the neck. Staring at the, Anakin swallowed. “What the kark?” He wheezed.

Obi-Wan just smiled at them, unbothered. “If its not obvious by now, I’m not the physical Obi-Wan. I’m the subconsciousness of Obi-Wan. I’d hug you but I’m a bit tethered at the moment.” He chuckled warmly.

Eyes snapping up to glare at him, Anakin growled. “ _Not funny_.” He narrowed his eyes. “Wait, subconsciousness? You mean as in you’re Obi-Wan’s mental thoughts and… well the part of him that deal with thoughts and ideas?” He frowned deeply at the other man.

Reaching up, Obi-Wan stroked his beard slowly and Anakin couldn’t help but notice that the length of the manacles barely allowed even that move. “In a manner yes. I’m the part of Obi-Wan that deals with his morals, his instincts and his intelligence. To sum it up shortly, I’m a part of his psyche, I even deal with some of his trauma.” The man smiled.

Frowning, Anakin touched one of the manacles. “…What’s this?” He asked warily, recognizing that the manacles were symbols, not actual chains since this was Obi-Wan’s mind.

“These?” Obi-Wan tugged on both of his wrist manacles. “These are duty and morality, things that tie me down when I want to act out and sometimes I chaff at them yes but they are imperative to the person I am now even if you do not always approve of them,” He chuckled. “I do admit that sometimes I break them, mostly for your sake,” Obi-Wan gave him a stern frown. “Honestly you and Padme are much to obvious.” He scolded.

Coloring sharply, Anakin sat back on his heels. “W-What?” He squeaked.

“Oh come on Anakin,” Obi-Wan laughed. “I spent ten years with you but also you _snogged_ her right after Dooku ran away on Geonosis. I would have to be blind and deaf not to notice that. It was all I could do to stand in front of you so Yoda didn’t see it with those injuries of mine.” Obi-Wan shook his head and smiled pityingly at that.

Still coloring and a bit overwhelmed, Anakin pointed at the manacles around the others feet.

“Ah… yes those. Trauma I’m sorry to say, I’ve experienced quite a few in my years and sometimes they unfortunately make me freeze or hesitate.” Obi-Wan peered at his feet, shifting them out of the cross legged position.

Hesitantly Anakin reached out, touching the collar around Obi-Wan’s neck, staring at him.

Peering back, Obi-Wan sighed. “The weight of my decisions as they pull me down. My guilt. My fear. My anger… quite few things really, you’ve caused some of them by being hasty and pushing my hands in missions where you couldn’t be patient.” He chortled.

Anakin’s throat closed in on him, staring at the collar.

It looked tight.

It almost looked like a blaster collar…

“…How do we get out of here? The artifact doesn’t seem to be bringing us anywhere and you’re here.”  Anakin asked quietly.

Shaking his head, Obi-Wan smiled sadly. “I’m not sure Anakin. This artifact is an unknown entity for me.” He explained.

There was an uneasy shifting among the troopers.

Were they stuck?


	10. The beginning

Rubbing his face as he tried to figure out what to do, Anakin leaned into the touch as the Obi-Wan in front of him was petting gently at his hair.

He knew this Obi-Wan was a manifestation of Obi-Wan in his brain but it was still Obi-Wan and right now that was enough for Anakin to keep onto his calm for just a little bit longer as he tried to figure out what the kark to do.

But Force stuff wasn’t his strength.

Not like this, delicate mental manipulations, like when he was young and Obi-Wan was gently leading him into his first meditation with his hands holding Anakin’s gently.

Warmth and light, Obi-Wan’s serenity surrounding hi-

Wait…

“The light!” His head snapped up and turned on his knees, looking around wildly while Obi-Wan raised a brow.

The troopers shifted, glancing about too.

“Butterflies? The memories?” Obi-Wan questioned, resting his hands back in his lap.

“Yes, yes they were here. There was a flock of them, all flying together and never going too far away.” Anakin got to his feet, trying to scout for them before catching the mind manifestation of Obi-Wan frowning a bit. “What?”

Looking up at him, Obi-Wan’s frown turned into a small smile. “I have a theory. You should find the butterflies, they may be your way out of here because these are the last memories the artifact has lined up but because I resisted because I did not want to show you those memories, the artifact is now unhooked and you need to put it on the right order.” He shrugged.

Frowning slightly, Anakin knelt down, touching the others knee lightly. “You don’t look so happy about that…” He pointed out slowly.

“I’m not,” Obi-Wan said honestly, shrugging. “But there’s nothing else for it, I suspect the memory you will see will be one of my closest guarded secret that I did not wish you to see since you would feel guilty about some of your… comments through the years,” The mind Obi-Wan reached out and cupped his cheek, stroking gently. “Just remember Anakin, I do care for you, you are my padawan and my brother.” He smiled, a butterfly fluttering between them to Anakin’s surprise.

And then he saw nothing as the butterfly’s light seem to enclose them all until all Anakin saw was the brightness of it.

And then it was dim once more.

They were in a cave, seemingly deep underground from what Anakin with a bright red soil beneath them in the dim light and gray rocks closed around them.

Child Obi-Wan was sitting quietly by a sealed blaster door, worn and tired looking with his hands wrapped around a… oh kark that was a blaster collar!

This young Obi-Wan was sitting with his hands around a blaster collar of all things that was wrapped around his throat, his tunic and leggings filthy looking with patches missing here and there as he tiredly glanced up at the sealed door with a red light over it.

Anakin recognized it as a detonation charge that was set to blow either with distance or a press of a button and in panic he looked around, finding Qui-Gon pacing back and forth, so much younger looking as he stood there marched through troopers while running his hands through his long dark hair.

Looking back Anakin found Obi-Wan glancing between the door and Qui-Gon before he slowly and unsteadily got to his feet. “Master Jinn I think I know how you can rescue the miners and stop Xanatos.” He said, his voice a bit raspy, as if he didn’t have enough moisture in his mouth or was coming down with a cough.

The knight looked up, frowning. “Initiate Kenobi as far as I’m aware we have no too-” The Jedi shut up, staring at how Obi-Wan was pressing himself to the door. “Kenobi get away from that door this instant.” He said shakily, looking pale in the darkness with streaks of dirt on his robe and tunic.

“But this collar will get the door open,” Obi-Wan tugged on it a bit, hands still holding it tight. “If I trigger it, it will blow up and the door opens and you can go. No one is really going to miss me Master Jinn, I got sent to the agricore after all and if the explosives all go off than the mines are going to come down on top of all the workers killing them,” He said earnestly. “My life isn’t worth all of theirs if you can get out and I’m willing.” Obi-Wan said with certainty a child should never have and Anakin squeaked even as his mind logged in that Obi-Wan, _OBI-WAN_ had been sent to Agricore!

The Jedi seemed to jump in front of Obi-Wan, catching the boy by the shoulder to give him a shake. “Do _not_ say such things. Your life is precious also youngling.” Qui-Gon said sternly before hissing a bit and easing his grip on Obi-Wan. “Oh kark, I didn’t hurt you did I? I know slavers aren’t kind to those they keep in the mines, I didn’t think when grabbing you.”Anakin said to the blonds confusion.

Slavers?

Pale but smiling, the young Obi-Wan just gave a small shrug. “Its alright, it won’t matter in too lo-”

“I am not sacrificing your life to get out of here!”

The words rang in their ears.


	11. We the tired ones

The words echo in their ears before everything seems to gather tight and then bursting into bright butterflies as the world around them one last time dissolves with the butterflies dissolving with the mindscape and fades away and then their feet stand on solid ground once more.

Anakin shakes a bit as he looks around, seeing more than one trooper fall on their ass from the intensity of what has been going on but its Obi-Wan who gets his attention.

The older man sways on his feet and looks almost gray in the red ringed sunset of the planet as he looks towards Anakin warily, as if he thinks Anakin is going to demand answers, demand solutions or more memories.

And normally that is a worry that may be true but not right now as Anakin closes the distance and wraps a supporting arm around Obi-Wan, as if he’s injured or drunk. “Easy, easy you don’t look good Obi-Wan.” He soothed quietly, voice hoarse as he’s still trying to understand what he just saw.

Obi-Wan squinted back at him before smiling weakly. “I don’t really feel good either Anakin.” He confessed quietly.

It was that more than anything else that had Anakin postponing any confrontations or conversations as he headed towards the tent that had their bunks, talking soothingly to Obi-Wan as the other stumbled along aside him. Obi-Wan _never_ admitted to feeling bad usually.

Subtly he also checked on the other through the Force and frowned to himself.

Obi-Wan had Force exhaustion, not too shocking if he had been exerting Force while they were in his memories but had also initially tried to fight the memories and them seeing it and that meant that Obi-Wan would need a longer rest.

Anakin himself had never really experienced Force exhaustion, his reserves too large but he had been taught how to gauge and care for someone both for his mission partners sake and especially for Ahsoka as it was his duty to ensure her safety and health.

Settling the other on the field bed, Anakin knelt down and undid the straps of Obi-Wan’s boots swiftly before undoing the others belt too and putting it aside. Obi-Wan meanwhile looked like he was sleeping already with his hands on the bed for support, his eyes closed and his head dipping forward.

“Easy does it Obi-Wan, its alright master.” Anakin soothed softly as he grasped the others shoulders, carefully pressing the other to the bed and lifting his legs onto the field bunk before pulling the blanket over him, trying to remember the last time Obi-Wan had been this vulnerable when in the field.

Years ago came to mind, long before the war.

Obi-Wan had gotten a fever from infection and Anakin had thought it would boil his master’s brain and had held his hand.

Obi-Wan had been just as vulnerable than and just as trusting of Anakin to look after him.

Shifting the others head a bit on the pillow, Anakin smiled sadly as Obi-Wan only breathed deeply, asleep from the moment his head hit the pillow.

Than he stood and pinched the bridge of his nose. “…He’s more than likely going to sleep for almost a full day,” He said for Cody and Rex benefit, knowing they’d tell the rest of the troopers. “So we’re staying here today. I suggest we pack what we can and be ready to leave when he wakes though as I’m sure we’re all eager to get to Coruscant.” And that would give them all time to adjust and digest what they had been through, what they had seen.

He turned, seeing both captain and commander in the tent opening just as he had expected.

The two traded looks before Cody nodded. “Yes sir, will General Kenobi be alright?” He questioned quietly.

Glancing at his sleeping master, Anakin let out a deep breath that came very close to a sigh. “I don’t think Obi-Wan has been alright in a very, very long time Commander but he’s going to be physically healthier at least. He’s Force exhausted at the moment, so he needs rest and food.” Anakin picked up a pad, settling down cross legged by the bed. “I’ll stay here and look over him for a bit and then you can take over commander.” He settled on.

He watched Cody’s shoulders relax at that and both troopers saluted, recognizing a dismissal even when it wasn’t bluntly said.

And than it was quiet, Obi-Wan’s even breaths the only thing filling the tent space.

That was alright…

Anakin had a lot of things to thing about now, a lot of preconceived notions that were challenged by the truth…  

‘Well, this is going to be fun to go over.’ Anakin thought dryly even as he first noted down that Obi-Wan may have understood slavery a lot better than Anakin had ever suspected considering he had been what looked like a mining slave if only for a short while. And with the way young Obi-Wan had looked Anakin would eat his own glove if it wasn’t at least a week of abuse.

So yes, a lot of challenged notions and gave their past interactions a different tune.


	12. Confused and frustrated

Letting out a deep breath, Obi-Wan kept his eyes closed for a long moment before opening his eyes and finding himself staring into the back of Anakin’s head as his former padawan stared at the tent wall.

Neither said anything for a long moment before Anakin let out a deep sigh. “I got a lot of stuff to re-evaluate and I don’t know if I’m angry or just confused about why you haven’t told me any of this before.” He said quietly.

Shifting slowly, his limbs feeling heavy and warm, Obi-Wan let his hand flop out and hang in the others vision and after a moment Anakin reached up and took the Jedi master’s hand, tucking it to his chest while lacing their fingers together.

Smacking his lips a bit to create some moisture, Obi-Wan searched for words before finally just sighing too. “I didn’t know how. Didn’t… some of these memories are things I’ve suppressed for… decades.” He croaked out and the noise made Anakin shift and reach for something, holding up a bottle of water.

Reaching for it, Obi-Wan gulped a few sips without attempting to sit up, feeling Anakin squeeze his hand as he listened to the sounds of Obi-Wan swallowing before he accepted the bottle back to set it on the floor.

Putting his head back on the pillow, Obi-Wan just let himself feel Anakin’s thumb slowly stroke over his knuckles.

“Did Qui-Gon really just… abandon you on that war torn planet?” Anakin suddenly asked, his voice thick.

Swallowing, his body tense, Obi-Wan let out a deep sigh. “…Yes.”

“Ah karking hell,” Anakin hissed, dropping his head back against the bed so he could barely see Obi-Wan, upside down. “Just karking hell Obi-Wan, who the _hell_ abandons their young padawans on planets with civil war?”

Swallowing a bit, Obi-Wan opened his mouth only to shut up when the blonde glared at him.

“Don’t defend him Obi-Wan. If it was me, you would have tucked me under your arm and carried me into the ship. And I know for damn sure that I would have carried Ahsoka away from that place regardless how much she would have wanted to stay and help,” He growled at his former master. “Sithspit Obi-Wan, you can’t have been more than fourteen, fifteen at best, you could have _died_.” Anakin said with some desperation.

Licking his lips, Obi-Wan settled on a shrug.

Because Anakin wasn’t wrong, Obi-Wan would never leave the other behind on a planet like Melida/Daan.

He wouldn’t have totally left, he would have informed more Jedi and hoped…

But he wouldn’t have left his teenage padawan no and even now that he had made peace with the idea, it still hurt that Qui-Gon Jinn could leave him behind to die for there was no guarantee that Obi-Wan would have survived at all.

Anakin lifted his head back up, letting out a deep breath. “There’s a lot of things I want to talk with you about but you’re still overwhelmed and you need rest so that’s not going to be now,” He lifted Obi-Wan’s hand from his chest and pressed a kiss to the back of it instead. “So that’s what you’re going to do, you’re going to trust me and you’re going to trust your men to handle everything while you for once just _rests_.” He settled on in a strong tone.

Blinking at the back of the others head, Obi-Wan let out a confused little noise. “Anakin… I do trust all of you. I promise. There are no other people I would want to be with in the world in this moment than the ones already here.” He murmured, licking his lips.

Anakin turned his head, looking at him properly before smiling bashfully. “Oh… well rest, cause you’re gonna have to get up in an hour since we got to pack up the tent and head to the temple… so get what rest you can right now.” Anakin said quietly.

Blinking a bit, Obi-Wan shuffled the blanket more around himself. “Oh… how is the troopers?” He asked instead of really settling down to sleep more, it was unlikely he was going to sleep anyhow and he would rather know what was in store for him.

There was a little grumble, Anakin obviously hoping he would sleep before the blonde sighed. “Confused and frustrated, they don’t understand and I can’t explain to them since I don’t understand either. How someone could be left behind as a padawan.” He grumbled out, squeezing Obi-Wan’s hand.

“…Oh… will… are they going to ask me questions too?” Obi-Wan licked his lips nervously.

Shrugging, Anakin pressed another kiss to the others hand. “No, I don’t think so but Commander Cody will want some answers I think… might be an idea to invite him and Rex to our Q&A when that happens in the temple.” He said honestly.

Sighing deeply, Obi-Wan let out an understanding noise and closed his eyes.

He may not be about to go back to sleep but he was going to rest his eyes, going into a light meditation for the duration he was allowed.

Just a light meditation that made his brain cool down.


	13. Back to Coruscant

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did a mistake with the chapter and only just discovered it

The ride back to Coruscant is quiet and if Obi-Wan didn’t have the Force he had the strongest suspicion that he would be uncomfortable with the lingering silence all over the Negotiator. Yet he does have the Force and because of that he can feel the troopers in the Force and Anakin, wrapping around him protectively as they provide the silence to rest.

And Anakin has control of the Negotiator with Ahsoka and Rex on the Resolute.

The Tatooine native had only given Obi-Wan a long look before boarding the same transport as him, intentions clear as he held onto the strap.

Obi-Wan hadn’t argued, recognizing that he needed to pick his battles.

And he’s honestly just so tired, a low level of constant fatigue he recognizes as the consequences of fighting the artifact.

He shouldn’t have but the entire situation had left him oh so desperate and…

Well, it was done, no need to cry over spilled milk as they said and instead he only quietly shuffled along and let himself be bundled into chairs and had cups of tea or food bars shoved into his hands that he ate quietly.

Honestly that seemed to creep out everyone else more then Obi-Wan arguing it seemed, especially if Cody’s perturbed look was anything to go by and Anakin’s action of constantly monitoring their bond to check on Obi-Wan.

‘I’m not that bad,’ He thought grumpily to himself as he took a small sip of tea. ‘Am I?’ He paused, staring at the deep red color of tea that reflected his own face back at him. It was actually a bit creepy, Obi-Wan’s face looked like it was covered in blood almost.

Absently shaking his head at the spastic thought, Obi-Wan hoped that the coming Q&A wouldn’t be as deep as he worried it might be.

But Anakin clearly had questions, his entire being seemed offset by the things he had learned and maybe it was things that Obi-Wan should have spoken to him about before but it was so… difficult. These were things he had long ago tried to overcome and put aside because they ached even now with time.

He had forgiven Qui-Gon for leaving him on Melida/Daan but that didn’t mean he had forgotten it.

Nor had he forgotten anything else, the sensation of the blast collar around his neck, the feeling of the electrowhip on his back in those cold caves, starvation clawing at the pit of his stomach and everything else.

Obi-Wan was a Jedi, he had compassion and the ability to forgive… but that didn’t mean he actually forgot the actions of others.

No, Obi-Wan would always remember even if he did forgive.

And now he would be forced to once more confront all those old things he had tried to put to rest, ripping up old scars that throbbed on bad days and once more bleed for the pain of them.

‘Maybe it won’t be so bad… Force knows what Anakin could want to speak to me about it, its the past. The past should remain resting even as we know it.’ Obi-Wan took a small sip of tea, glancing about the quiet bridge and meeting Anakin’s worried eyes.

He managed to summon up a smile for the other only to get a deeper frown in response and inwardly Obi-Wan sighed at the emotions Anakin wore on his sleeves. ‘Well, there is a reason we never sent him to negotiate delicate deals.’ He thought to himself, focusing back on his tea.

Force, he was not looking forward to getting home to the temple.


	14. Idiots together

Finally they are home and the artifact gets delivered to the research division while Anakin and Obi-Wan goes to report to the council.

Its grueling work, telling them what has happened, explaining but at least its not as exhausting as the actual memory lane run they did and Ahsoka has luckily taken both Commander Cody and Captain Rex to their quarters so they wont be forced to stand around waiting as they debriefed the council about the happenings with the artifact.

Finally they get released and can return to their quarters, finding both troopers waiting for them with a cup of tea each.

The moment they enter Cody rises to his feet and gets Obi-Wan a cup, handing it over to him once Obi-Wan is settled down in his seat, obviously having made a full pot of tea.

Settling down on the couch slowly, Anakin peered at his master as the man got comfortable in the squishy old recliner Anakin suspected had belonged to Qui-Gon Jinn though he could never prove it.

Cody had opted to remain standing by the recliner with Rex remaining on the couch besides Anakin as they all watched the older Jedi.

“…Well, you had questions?” Obi-Wan finally murmured, looking between them as he took a slow sip of tea.

Must be good if the approving smile he sent Cody afterward meant anything since Obi-Wan could be really picky about his tea, especially when they were in the temple.

“Questions… kark Obi-Wan I don’t even know anymore, I had days to think about it and now I just don’t…” Anakin breathed out heavily as he sat back on the couch.

“I do,” Cody said sharply. “How the kark could your master get away with all that poodoo he pulled with you as his padawan? You were a _child_ he was responsible for.” He said tightly, arms crossed over his chest.

Obi-Wan stared up at him before shrugging a bit. “Because not everyone knew everything we did. According to everyone else, I left the Order and therefor Qui-Gon was justified in leaving without checking me,” He smiled into his cup but there was a tinge of despair to the smile. “He was actually considered a saint for taking me back when I requested aid for the planet.”

Anakin’s breath hitched.

Oh kark that was so bad…

And Qui-Gon Jinn was suddenly very lucky for already having passed into the Force if the look on Cody’s face meant anything.

“…No wonder you offered to blow yourself up before you even became a commander sir,” Rex said heavily and Obi-Wan seemed to jump a bit, staring at the captain. “They haven’t instilled any self confidence in you have they when you were a stripling and now you just pretend.” He murmured darkly. “And then your master kept destroying it.”

Obi-Wan looked away but it was clear that Rex hit the nail on the head.

Anakin bitterly thought of the council chamber scene. And Qui-Gon’s death for the mans last words had not even been of Obi-Wan but Anakin, not a proper goodbye but a request to train Anakin.

Which Obi-Wan had done to the best of his capabilities even though he was a fresh knight in grief.

Force it was honestly astounding that Obi-Wan had managed as well as he had!

“Did anyone try to interfere with how he raised you?” Anakin asked softly.

Obi-Wan shrugged a bit. “Qui-Gon was my master, he guided me to my knightho-”

“But he didn’t, he abandoned you,” Anakin cut in. “Practically renounced you. I didn’t realize it back then but I do now…Obi-Wan, I’m so sorry.” He swallowed heavily

There was a deep sigh and Obi-Wan leaned forward, settling the cup on the coffee table. “…What is done can’t be changed… maybe we can move forward with more understanding of each other now?” He smiled faintly at Anakin.

Cody clapped his hand down on his General’s shoulder. “Oh you bet we can. I’m going to chase you down with food and medical supplies if I have to General,” He growled out before squeezing Obi-Wan’s shoulder more gently. “Because believe me when I say you matter General.”

Watching the two as Obi-Wan tried to fend off the compliment with a flustered expression, Anakin felt his lips reluctantly twitch into a small smile. ‘At least there’s someone on your side now Obi-Wan and I don’t think you’re getting so easily away from him or me anymore now that I know.’ He chuckled before getting up and moving over to them.

Before Obi-Wan could blather on, Anakin leaned down and hugged him tightly. “You’re an idiot Obi-Wan but so am I. So lets be idiots together and look after one another hmm?” He murmured into the others ear.

A quiet noise escaped Obi-Wan before he slowly, kind of awkwardly returned the hug before tightening the hug and pressing his face into Anakin’s shoulder. “…I guess we can be idiots together.” He chuckled faintly.  


	15. Wonder of company

Pressing a cup of tea into the Jedi’s hands, Cody smiled carefully at the redhead until he received one in return with Obi-Wan looking up at him.

“Oh, thank you Cody, you didn’t have to.” The man said cheerfully, bringing the cup to his nose to sniff lightly with a delighted look on his face since it was the tea Cody had managed to get from the temple for his Jedi.

“I know I don’t have to sir but I find that you tend to eat better in a day if you have a cup of tea at least once.” Cody chuckled before saluting and heading over to Rex, the two putting their heads together for the patrols and guard schedule for the night.

Ever since their little fall into the General’s head, Cody and Rex had become even more careful with knowing what was going on around them as they now understood that Obi-Wan Kenobi’s recklessness was a deeply integrated personality trait.

Preventing situation he could put himself at risk was the best they could do for now as they tried to work him out of the habit.

And Skywalker and Tano were working hard on that, both working to get Obi-Wan to understand that people cared for him and would be devastated if anything happened to him.

Stang, Skywalker even, very politely, turned down a request for a friendly chat from the Chancellor to instead spend time with his old master, throwing his arm around Obi-Wan when the man protested and loudly proclaimed that Obi-Wan deserved the wonder of his company.

Obi-Wan had of course blustered and tried to get around it but there had been a pleased little smile on his lips and a blush showing up on the back of his neck and top of his ears as he tucked into the taller man’s side while pointing out they could do some star gazing since they hadn’t done that since before the war.

Tano had loudly demanded where the kark they would star gaze which of course had turned both older Jedi’s attention onto the younger one, one to scold her for language while the other had laughed long and hard.

Which of course had caused Obi-Wan to smack his old padawan in the arm while scolding him for encouraging bad behavior and language, still yet smiling that little pleased smile of his until he finally just gave in while rolling his eyes and explaining that there was a planetarium they could go to.

“He still needs his head screwed on correctly but at least we’re making some headway.” Rex noted quietly to his vode as Obi-Wan sipped his tea, the two discreetly watching the man.

Nodding, Cody crossed his arms over his chest. “Yes, but enough about that. Waxer and Boil made note of a Seppie camp fourteen clicks out. They suggested we’d ambush them without the General’s knowledge and take them out with droid poppers from a distance since its a small camp.” He murmured quietly.

Frowning a bit, Rex considered the idea before shaking his head. “No go, we should at least inform General Skywalker because that way we haven’t really gone over the leadership. And if something goes wrong, Anakin would be there to help us.” He smirked wryly.

Humming a bit, Cody nodded slowly at that. “That might be better yes. The small camp might be a trap to lure us in and show our position to the rest.” He noted quietly before glancing at Obi-Wan once more as he heard the man laugh at something Longshot had said as the man delivered a report to the Jedi.

“…I swear, how does one man go from looking badass to being so cute?” Rex smiled wryly.

Shrugging, Cody smiled too. “Guess he’s kind of like a flower, thriving on sunlight and tlc.” He noted quietly in return, watching the General light up with warm attention and nourishment.


	16. Hat collection

Blinking confusedly as he stared at the line of shrubs and cactus that functioned as erosion control against the tide of sand, Obi-Wan shuffled a bit only for Anakin to shift and settle another hand on his head as the first one continued rubbing his back.

“Anakin, what in Force name are yo-” Obi-Wan spluttered a bit, not too outraged but mostly confused he had to admit.

“You haven’t slept in a day, so I’m going to make sure you rest at least some even if its just while sitting in my lap.” Anakin said with some cheer.

Chin still resting on the others shoulder, Obi-Wan tried to connect how he had gone from standing on two beside the other man to suddenly sitting in his former padawan’s lap with his legs stretched out behind him and his chin settled on Anakin’s shoulder as he absorbed the words.

And then he just cuddled up because if he couldn’t figure that out, Anakin was quite right that he needed some rest.

After a moment there was a little tap and then there was a hat on his head and Obi-Wan lifted his head enough to squint up at Ahsoka who grinned back down at him. “You are a pale human master Obi, better cover up… did you put sunscreen on your hands?” She squinted at them, the young lady in question wearing her robes with her hood up to escape the sun.

“Yes, Cody had me cover them… I think an hour ago?” Obi-Wan yawned, absently noting that the hand that had been stroking his hair was gone but the one on his back was still there.

At his answer Ahsoka looked up across the camp and then nodded. “I’ll go talk with him. I’ll also ask about getting a tarp set up over you two. Honestly Skyguy.” She laughed and walked off, kicking up sand lightly, leaving Obi-Wan’s line of vision.

“…She’s a good girl.” Obi-Wan said fondly before settling his chin back while sliding his arms slowly around the blonds neck to settle more comfortably, feeling Anakin turn his head and bit and askew the hat probably.

“Yup… you do know you’re wearing a pink sunhat with a horn on it right?” Anakin noted with some amusement.

Snorting, Obi-Wan nuzzled his cheek a bit into Anakin’s shoulder. “Lay off, its hot, I’m tired and I bet the hat is cute… its the rainbow one right?” He chuckled quietly, snorting when he felt Anakin’s surprise. “I’ve seen her hats you know, she has a collection of them and the sunhats can fit togrutas as well as humans despite the monterals.” Obi-Wan yawned deeply and closed his eyes.

“…Huh, I don’t think I’ve seen her hat collection.” Anakin said wonderingly.

Waggling his fingers a bit but not bothering to really lift his hands, Obi-Wan hummed. “You can ask to see them next time on Coruscant, she has a crate of them under her padawan dorm bed…” He mumbled, feeling Anakin carefully shift him before a fond kiss was pressed to his cheek.

He didn’t react much to it but Obi-Wan felt a pleasant warmth spread in his stomach that gained power as he heard quiet boots in sand and felt a shade being brought over them, Cody quietly speaking to Longshot and Gus and directing them to secure the poles without too much noise.


	17. Complications

Taking a deep breath slowly through his nose with his moistening eyes clenched shut, Obi-Wan tried not to grit his teeth and provoke the developing migraine that was already starting to pound in his head.

He had developed it after the holocron and the healers suspected that it was a side effect from the ancient artifact messing with his mind and Obi-Wan trying to resist it only to cause a severe Force whirl that had dragged even none sensitive into the deeper recesses of his mind.

It was a horrible feeling honestly.

Obi-Wan wasn’t a stranger to migraines but never this severe and long lasting.

His new artifact related migraines could last an entire week, his vision kept blurring and was provoked by any kinds of sharp light, most sounds were unbearable, he was constantly nauseous which made eating difficult, he experienced painful stomach cramps that could come and go as they wished during the week, saw flashes of light, became dizzy and fatigued and developed fevers at time.

Apparently he was also moody though Obi-Wan could be forgiven for not noticing that himself.

And worst be, none of the preventive medications the healers and medics had tested with him so far had worked on the migraine even a little bit.

So far the healers were contemplating giving him strong painkillers but Obi-Wan was resistant to the idea of becoming dependent on powerful opiates to get through his life, he wouldn’t be the first Jedi to abuse such means to cope if it went wrong.

There were several programs for substance abuse in the temple along with program for other addictions.

“General?” A hand carefully touched his elbow, squeezing down.

Letting out a wounded noise, Obi-Wan felt tears slide down his cheeks much to his mortification as the sound of even Cody’s quiet voice proved to be to much for him at the moment. “Migraine.” He gritted out, gasping quietly as even the sound of his own voice provoked his head.

There was a pause and then the hand moved to Obi-Wan’s lower back, prompting Obi-Wan to move. Shuffling along and trusting his commander not to walk him out over a cliff, Obi-Wan focused on breathing steadily with his eyes closed.

When the air changed from smelling like wet forest to somewhat sterile room and noise became muted Obi-Wan realized his commander had taken him to Helix.

()()()

Blinking his eyes open at a soft buzz, Obi-Wan let out an anguished noise as he desperately reached for his belt with his comm resting on the table beside the medbed Helix had pushed him into after setting a hypospray, Obi-Wan faintly remembering commander and medic helping him out of his belt and tunic before tucking him in.

Finally he managed to get it out and accepted the call, breathing out when it was just Anakin.

“Obi-Wan!” Anakin beamed in delight only to blink when Obi-Wan winced. “Oh no, are you having another migraine?” He said worriedly, very pointedly lowering his voice.

Settling back into the pillows, Obi-Wan let out a low noise. “I am… Helix set a hypospray so I was sleeping…” He rubbed his face slowly. “I need to talk to him about that, I don’t want to become reliant on painkillers.” Obi-Wan pinched the bridge of his nose.

Anakin’s face turned serious. “You should seriously consider the healers suggestion of painkillers Obi-Wan. This has gone on so long and you are clearly suffering.” Anakin crossed his arms over his chest while giving his old master a dark glare.

Swallowing, Obi-Wan searched for something to say only for his shoulders to slump. Why hide it?

“I just don’t want to become dependent on painkillers Anakin, what if I start abusing them? We’re in the middle of a war and we have enough to worry about without m-” He babbled out, his anxieties ramping up.

But then Anakin broke in, his glare gone and his arms dropping from their defensive crossed position to holding up palms facing Obi-Wan in a soothing manner. “Hey, hey Obi-Wan. Its okay, we’re not gonna let you start abusing your painkillers and becoming dependent on them isn’t so bad,” He said calmly, blue eyes wide in the holo. “Its not like its your fault you have migraines, you shouldn’t have to suffer them as badly as you do when there are aids possible.” Anakin stated strongly but calmly.

Swallowing again, Obi-Wan stared at him only for his lips to twitch into a tiny smile. “When did you get so mature?” He whispered.

Grinning, Anakin shrugged. “I have my moments. Just… think about it okay Obi-Wan, there exists help if you just… accept it.” The knight said soothingly.


End file.
